


The Spring in Your Step

by Neferit



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Anger, Angst, Community: masseffectkink, Community: masskink, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Joker being Joker, Romance, Self Confidence Issues, Shepard has a limp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 04:17:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2608190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neferit/pseuds/Neferit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The whole thing started completely innocently, as far as Joker had been concerned. He was watching the vid feed from the latest mission the Commander and her squad had been on (some small world with Blue Suns mercenaries in dire need of killing) and he was just reaching for his cup of coffee (that should not even be  at the helm, as that nuisance of an AI informed him) when he noticed it.</p><p>Just at the same time, Commander appeared from behind him, and he asked the fateful question.<br/>It didn’t even have to be the infamous “does this uniform make me look fat” question.</p><p>All he said was: “Commander, have you hurt your leg on the last mission?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Spring in Your Step

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a [prompt ](http://masseffectkink.livejournal.com/3083.html?thread=6652427#t6652427) over at masseffectkink meme.

The whole thing started completely innocently, as far as Joker had been concerned. He was watching the vid feed from the latest mission the Commander and her squad had been on (some small world with Blue Suns mercenaries in dire need of killing) and he was just reaching for his cup of coffee (that should not even be at the helm, as that nuisance of an AI informed him) when he noticed it.

Just at the same time, Commander appeared from behind him, and he asked the fateful question.

It didn’t even have to be the infamous “does this uniform make me look fat” question.

All he said was: “Commander, have you hurt your leg on the last mission?”

And since her answer, which had been incredulous “no, I haven’t, why do you ask?”, things went south very, very quickly.

Quicker than he could spin on his awesomesauce leather seat.

Faster than Grunt could go through an XL size pizza.

Faster than Samara could smash someone’s head inside.

And so on, Joker was running out of metaphors anyway.

Commander had a limp.

Not a bad limp, which would move her terribly from side to side when she walked, nor the kind of limp he was sporting after Cerberus gave him his upgrades (which actually was an upgrade, compared to the previous state of things). She still stood with her back straight and only the sway in her step showed that something was not right – not all that visible when running around and gunning everything that looked at them funny, and not noticed when she walked around, since people mostly stood face to face with her only when she stood on one place to talk with them.

Reviewing the vid feeds from all the missions they undertook ever since her waking up at Lazarus station showed that the limp had been all the damn time; and Shepard was livid that no one bothered to tell her, especially since the limp had been really noticeable in the beginning.

“Had a good laugh at my expense, hadn’t you?” she hissed at her squad before turning around and marching out of the room, probably to her own cabin, the limp painfully obvious, now that everyone knew about it.

Things had been quiet for the last two days, as Shepard announced a shore leave at the Citadel, opting to stay at the Normandy while everyone else went to have a drink, dance around a little, shop for things they might need in the future and just generally goof around.

But everything had been underlined by a faint sense of guilt.

Finally, Joker couldn’t take the tension (not even the unresolved sexual one) anymore, and after quickly writing his last will on his omnitool, he decided to bite the bullet and went to take the lift to Shepard’s cabin. He also had the perfect excuse why he wanted to see the Commander. However, after having no reaction for five of his requests of entry, he sighed and leaned against the button, looking at the darkly scowling Commander that suddenly appeared with an innocent aura around him.

“What do you want, Joker?” she snapped, the last two days obviously doing nothing for her peace of mind, if the paleness of her appearance was anything to go by. There were dark circles under her eyes, and she held herself in a way that showed in how bad of a mood the Commander was.

“Sheesh, Commander, can’t I just come up to your lovely abode to see your collection of fish while we talk business? Not to mention – Jimmy the Fish and his little brother here would love to meet with your fish, ‘cause I think they were already crying out loud for someone who would swim through their aquarium with style.”

He showed her the small container with his peace offering – two clown fish were peacefully swimming there, unmindful of anything happening outside their container.

“Jimmy and Bonesy, this is Commander. Commander, this is Jimmy and Bonesy,” he introduced them with seriousness that had corners of Shepard’s mouth _almost_ rising upwards. Anyway, at least her dark scowl wasn’t so dark anymore.

“Why do I have a feeling you named the fish after Star Trek?” Shepard asked drily, stepping aside to let Joker in. He noticed she was standing almost painfully straight, hiding the limp as well as she could. Not that she needed to do that, Joker thought. His own limp was much worse and he wasn’t bothering to hide it.

Well, not anymore anyway.

Shepard carried the container with Jimmy and his little brother Bonesy inside, and while Joker went to sit down, she carefully released the two newcomers into the aquarium. Slowly, she moved back to sit with Joker, eyes on the aquarium to see how the fish will react to the new additions.

It sure was funny to see two clown fish, the only two terran creatures in the sea of alien life. Joker turned to Shepard.

“Do you know how to surprise a fish?”

Joker planned many ways how he would breach the subject, but Shepard took him by surprise. Of course he didn’t know how to surprise a fish.

“Very carefully, you need to reach into the tank, grab it by the tail and lift it up out of the water – only high enough for the fish to get a very clear view of the top of the water. And, if you look really quickly, you’ll see that the fish got a very surprised expression on its face. It got a catch to it, however.”

And this was getting more and more interesting. He was used to this Shepard, that talked about various things and nothing Important at the same time. Now, her face bore an expression of deep thought.

“You should never let the fish back into the same aquarium. The other fish, who wouldn’t have the same experience, would view the fish as crazy, because to them, it would be. The fish would be swimming all around, poking the others and tell them ‘hey, this thing we are swimming in, it’s water! We are swimming in water!’ And the others would look at the fish sideways, swim away from it and say ‘poor old fellow, so sensible, before they started to talk about this water stuff’.”

“Bet that’s how you must feel, when you speak about the Reapers, eh?”

Joker would slap himself when he said that her face closing for a second before she smirked. “Yep, that’s me. Surprised fish that saw the water from the outside and now can’t stop talking about it. But that is not why you came up all the way from your amazing leather seat up to my humble cabin, is it?”

Typical Shepard – always way too knowing and way too insightful.

“Oh, yeah,” he quickly gathered his wits around himself, “just wanted to ask, if your back hurts?” Really smooth, Moreau, he thought with a mental grimace. You really know what to say, eh?

Shepard just blinked at him in surprise. After a second, she nodded slowly. “Uhm, yes? I thought that I just pulled a muscle or something – I take hot shower in the evening, and when I get up in the morning, the back is okay again, so I didn’t think much of it.”

“See, Commander,” he said, mimicking his Academy instructor, “that’s something I can help you with.”

He wasn’t completely sure how he managed to keep Shepard sitting and not yelling at him throughout the whole evening, but while he helped to relax her back muscles and explained what he knew about things like limps and, you know, disabilities and gave her a solid scolding for not going to Chakwas if she was having problems, she seemed completely calm, right until he told her:

“Personally I thought Kasumi decided to make you into new Marilyn Monroe, when I’ve seen you in that dress. And those heels. You see, Marilyn wanted to walk with this sexy little sway, and she couldn’t come up with anything fancier than to have one heel on her shoes slightly shorter than the other one. Hurt her back like bitch, but hey – the sexy!”

Shepard chuckled. “Only you, Joker,” she said fondly, and Joker breathed out in relief. “Only you would be geeky enough to remember such a piece of random trivia.”

He wiggled his eyebrows at her. “This is just a part of my charming personality! You know you love it, Allison.”

“And if I do?”

When the heck did she happen to be so close? Her eyes open and searching, intent on his answer and for a moment he almost blurted some bullshit response to that and hobbled his way out of her cabin as quickly as he was able. But somehow, he stopped himself from doing that.

Instead, he leant in, kissed her on the nose and sat back. “If you do,” he said with seriousness surprising by someone like himself, “then I would say it’ time for us to limp our way into sunset to finally get some happily ever after.”

He got a pillow in his face for that, but her laughter was worth it. And, well, the goodnight kiss he got afterwards he made her promise to see Chakwas in the morning certainly didn’t hurt either.

**-o.O.o-**

Her limp never went away fully, always present in her walk after she had been woken up prematurely on the Lazarus station. But the angst and other issues with it went away, and it became sort of a trademark for her after a while; a running joke between the Commander and her pilot.

**-o.O.o-**

“Tell me – how did you know which one of us is, well, me? She had the same haircut, the same armour, same everything!”

“That was the easiest thing in this galaxy, Allison – she was woken when the work on her was complete. The way she moved was all off. She didn’t have the limp.”

And, of course, Joker thought, she didn’t have that sexy sway either. But nobody needed to know that.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a way of force-overcoming my terrible author's block for this year's NaNoWriMo. Also, did you know I offer story commissions, since I'm unemployed at the moment, but still need money? If you like my work, and have something you would like to have written, like a prompt on a meme or something, feel free to hit me up and talk about it. [You can find more about my commission policy here.](http://neferit.deviantart.com/journal/Commission-Info-493055364)


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